Stuck in the Bathroom
by ShunKickShunKers
Summary: Oneshot kind of AU tag to Strawberries and Cream. What if Lisbon had followed Jane after they figured out Max James knew Hightower? Jisbon from Hightower's pov


**Just a little idea that I had after re-watching Strawberry and Cream. What if Lisbon had followed Jane after finding out that Max James knew Hightower...Funnier that it sounds :P (hopefully ^^")  
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**Thanks to my half-beta for poking me into this and checking it afterwards :3**

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><p><strong>Stuck in the Bathroom<strong>

_Hightower__'s pov_

Jane's motel room was stripped of personal touches. Only a few clothes and tea utensils were proofs of someone living there. It didn't surprise me much. The man didn't appear to be very materialistic, especially given his personal history.

It didn't take me too long to figure out where he lived. I knew he couldn't possibly drive up to Malibu every night, nor stay in the attic, his second bedroom. A few strategic calls to people that would likely not recognise my voice, and I had the consultant's new address. Driving there and sneaking in had been the tricky part. I had to borrow a car from a friend and drive up to Sacramento at night. By all means, I didn't have much time; I could come across an employee who would recognise me, or be stopped by a cop on the way. But I hadn't been promoted at the head of the SCU for nothing.

One last glance around the main room, and I headed towards the bathroom to hide for a while. As much as I needed to have a chat with Jane about turning myself in, I did not wish to be busted tonight. The life we had been living these last months were tiring everyone and with the recent death of my cousin, I knew this was had gone too far.

I wanted to tell him before though, and apologize personally.

I didn't even know if he would come back tonight, but the risk needed to be taken. I knew sometimes he would spend nights at CBI and hopefully tonight wouldn't be one of those nights. I didn't know how much time I would be able to remain hidden if he decided to stay in the attic. Much to my relief though, I didn't have to wait more than a few hours. The door opened and I recognised his heavy footsteps and sighing when he sat on the cheap bed. He must have been coming straight from the crime scene and was deeply lost in thought, like he usually was when Red John was concerned.

Good, at least he wouldn't be too surprised by my presence. Smart like he is, he must have already made the connection between my cousin and me.

I suddenly heard the crack of the mattress, signalling that he had stood up from the bed and was now walking towards the bathroom, ready to stop the dripping tap I had set up to lure him in. Gun in hand, I prepared to step out of the room and meet him, but a loud knock on the front door prevented him from coming to find me. Great, I thought grimly. Who had the perfect timing to visit Jane at this time of night? The door creaked while opening.

"Lisbon?"

Of course, only Agent Lisbon would come to check up on Jane. This was a Red John case, and the woman would always be worried, how could I forget? I had seen her glancing at him from time to time at the office for far less.

"Can I come in?" she said, and Jane must have stepped aside, for her footstep echoed in the small room too. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. Hopefully, Lisbon wouldn't stay too long so I could have a chat with the man. I still didn't know if he was still riding alone, or if he had finally gotten some sense and confessed what he knew to the dark-haired woman. Despite the admiration I knew she bore for me, Agent Lisbon wouldn't blink twice in arresting me if she thought me guilty of the manslaughter. I didn't blame her.

"Nice place" I heard her say. "At least it's better than the attic."

I put my gun back in my pocket and cautiously approached the bedroom. The bathroom door was thankfully ajar, and the slight opening on the hinged side offered a hint of a view of the scene. Lisbon was facing Jane, hands in her jacket's pockets. Her gun was in her holster, attached to her belt alongside with her cuffs and badge. So she must have left shortly after Jane and driven directly to his place.

"Do you want some tea?" the blond man offered, although his intonation understated he already knew the answer.

"No thanks." The petite woman took a deep breath and blurted: "I'm worried about you, Jane. Did you mean what you said? That you don't worry about Red John coming after you?"

"Lisbon" he replied, sighing deeply. "You know better. Red John enjoys teasing me, he won't come to me until he decides he had his fun."

"Still!"

They started arguing on the Red John subject for a few minutes. I knew, from their behaviour, that those conversations must have occurred more than once. Jane would defend his position as a man yearning for justice, revenge actually, Lisbon would retort by her status of officer of the law. Both had moral and a strong sense of justice, but by the book and revenge did not cooperate very well. When Jane started speaking about his plans, I have to admit I never knew he held so much angst inside. Perhaps I should have trusted Lisbon a bit more. I thought she didn't handle Jane well enough at the time, but had I known what _part_ of Jane she was handling behind the scenes…

I shook my head and checked time. Close to midnight already. Damn. I hoped I could get a grip on the man before 2 am.

"I can't let anymore people suffer because of me."

I turned back my attention to the scene as Lisbon huffed in annoyance. Even from my hideout, I could see her roll her eyes.

"I'm a cop Jane. I'm used to deal with…"

"You can't deal with people like Red John!" he barked in annoyance. "That's why I didn't want any of you to come close to me, he might come after you or the team."

"I can handle it."

Jane's tone rose, and I knew without a doubt he was getting frustrated. The look on Lisbon's face expressed nothing else but a firm determination, and perhaps a bit of defiance towards his words.

"Are you blind? What if he catches you like Max James and decides to torture you until you die? I highly doubt you will be able to 'handle' it."

I flinched at the mention of my dead cousin.

"I trust you and the team to find me if it ever happens." This time, the senior agent's voice was wearing off, the tiredness obvious in her tone. "Listen…"

"No, _you_ listen. You are going to walk out this room and we will both forget this conversation. I've let you come too close already."

"And I don't give a damn about that!" I raised my brows at her sudden outburst. "You're too scared about letting anyone else in, just because a son of a bitch is manipulating you into building a shield around yourself. I don't care what you think, I won't let Red John win."

Oh, she was angry. Through the small space between the door and the frame, I saw Jane shaking his head in frustration and sliding a hand in his hair.

"Why do you always complicate things? You never listen to me, stubborn woman."

"Says the man who disobeys every single order, in spite of what I try to do to keep him alive."

"You won't stop bringing that up, will you?" Jane grumbled and I sensed the consequences of a recent case coming up. "I told you, I didn't leave you alone with that bomber because of my own vanity; and you know how much I hate to look like a coward."

"Oh please, spare me this tough guy act" Lisbon grumbled, shaking her head in exasperation. While I had not the faint idea of what they were arguing about, I had the clear feeling that Jane had done something to more than annoy the petite woman. Especially when the word 'bomber' was mentioned. Damn, how much I missed CBI now. A staring contest ensued for a moment, during which none contestant looked away. Surprisingly, Jane was the first to cave.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" he eventually asked.

"I told you already" she replied on a calmer tone. "There are people out there who need you, who care about you. Someone needs to watch over you."

My attention went on alert, just like when I was stuck in front of a romance scene from a melodrama. The atmosphere, the chemistry between the two protagonists was there… Now all was needed was the little chandeliers and sweet music in the background, I thought amusingly.

"Are you one of them?"

Lisbon's features tensed and I saw her reach out for Jane's hand. Once she found it, his fingers automatically tightened around her delicate ones. I couldn't help but smile, playing 'Falling for you' from Jem in my head. From all the _moments_ between them I got to witness, this one was probably the sweetest. The pang of regret of not being in the office to witness their daily banter came back slowly. I really missed CBI.

"You know I am."

Okay, way too sweet, I thought, pulling back to reality. Either I intervened now and stepped out of my hideout, or I waited until Lisbon left. I barely noticed Jane raising his hand to cup the petite agent's cheek and leaning forward, and when I eventually made up my mind and decided to show up, they were already… kissing. Softly. Or… not so softly. Definitively not softly. Not anymore. Definitively not soft anymore, but rather passionate, especially when Lisbon's arms circled Jane's neck and when Jane pulled her closer to him.

Oh dear. Anyone tell me they weren't about to do what I think they were about to do. Anyone tell me they weren't… sucking each other's mouth like there was no tomorrow and were definitively NOT undressing in front of my very eyes.

I forced myself to look away and returned to the closet. Sat on the chair I brought there and pulled out my mobile. During my absence, Will had sent me a text, informing me he and Mimi were going to sleep and wishing me good-night. I sighed and replied the same. The first moans started to echo in the next room, and I felt my cheeks burning in embarrassment. Now I could not avoid the confrontation with Lisbon. Taking a deep breath, I mentally coached myself into preparing to meet with the two lovers when another louder moan made me froze in my tracks. Through the slim opening, I caught glance of a very naked couple kissing passionately, Lisbon lying on her back and arching underneath a very enthusiastic Jane covering her body with his.

My jaw dropped at the sight and I retreated to the safety of the bathroom. I did not want to see more of what I had already… of what I had been... given to see. I knew I should have stepped in way earlier. Damn the consequences with Lisbon seeing me.

"_Patrick" _

Was that a moan or a husky whisper? Did I really want to know? When a grunt –male this time- echoed in the room, I wondered where I had hidden my earplugs. This was so embarrassing…

During the next thirty minutes, I desperately tried to ignore the creaking of the bed, the moans and sighs of pleasure, the whimpers and whispers. I beat all my scores at Tetris, counted seventy six cracks on the floor and managed not to give into temptation and light a cigarette. And when a deep moan of release _finally_ reached my ears, I knew my only chance to show up was close. It was way more silent now, it was a good sign. I approached the bathroom door carefully again and peeked through the opening. Lisbon and Jane were cuddling under the sheets of the bed, both panting from their recent activity. The blond man's hand was stroking her back, while her lids were shut.

As much as I resented interrupting this cute little moment –and God knows they deserved some rest- I really needed to talk with Jane. So I held my gun tightly, bypassed the bathroom door, and stepped into the main room.

They didn't notice my presence at first. It was the creak of the floor under my feet that made them realise they were not alone.

Lisbon's reaction took me by surprise. She immediately reached for her pants, not caring she was naked, and picked up her gun within seconds. I pulled out mine in reflex, but didn't shoot. When she recognised me though, her jaw hung very, very low.

"Ma'am? What…"

On his side, Jane's eyes widened like saucers. If I wasn't so embarrassed by finding my ex-employee pointing a firearm at me in her Eve suit, I would have perhaps smirked. Lisbon lowered her weapon at my sight and awkwardly stared at my gun. Given the look in her eyes, she knew I was innocent. Good. I put my gun back in my pocket and raised my hands slightly, signalling I meant no harm. The senior agent immediately picked up the first item of clothing to put on –Jane's large shirt- blushing like a teen caught with her boyfriend. A tense and uncomfortable silence took place when they realised I had been hiding the whole time and _had_ _heard_ everything. I didn't want to make things worse by saying the wrong words. So, I directed my attention towards Jane, mostly to give the senior agent a minute to collect herself.

"Uh… nice to see you Madeleine" he said with the most self-assured smile he could manage in this situation. I knew deep inside though, he wished he was anywhere but here. "Why are you here?"

All playfulness had vanished from the room. Now, we needed to talk business. I crossed my arms and said, trying hard to ignore the absurd situation in which we were.

"We need to talk."

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><p><strong>Hope it made you smile :)<strong>

**Thank you for reading and see you in another fic :D  
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